The motoring world is in flames: "You can't offend with a promise, you can't dazzle with a flashlight, and you can't save a car with a name"
- Apr 21
- 3 min read
Welcome to another explosive edition of Motoring World on Fire. This time we'll take a look at another never-ending series, "Volkswagen and its ID: Mission Impossible," see Elon add another bareback horse, and discover that you can't buy a car today - you have to win it . There's also the embarrassment of the century from Alfa Romeo, and then Toyota comes along to remind us what driving pleasure tastes like... before the EU bans calling an engine an "engine." Fasten your seatbelts, sarcasm at the ready, let's go!
🔌 Volkswagen ID.2all revealed again! This time for real, we swear by DSG
Volkswagen has once again introduced a new concept for its popular electric car, the ID.2all. Yes, the one that was supposed to be cheap, accessible, and electric, and which has probably seen more premieres than Madonna's wedding dress.
This time, it is supposed to go into production "already" in 2026. The price is said to be "under 25 thousand euros". Translation from German: for 24,999,- without wheels, seats and infotainment that will steal your data and only play "Rammstein unplugged" or "authored songs of the head of development".
🎯 BMW: Want to pay extra for the M3 Touring? Then enter the draw first
BMW is launching a new "win, buy" program in the US. The M3 Touring is so popular that buyers will have to raffle it off like it's a rare Pokémon card. Congratulations, the automotive world has officially entered a luxury famine . What's next? An oil filter raffle?
🔌 Tesla Model 3 Performance: I keep driving until I get crazy
Elon has unleashed something new, and fanboys are gasping for breath. The Tesla Model 3 Performance is back - with sharper aerodynamics, more power and a chassis that can handle corners without a prayer.
But... the price in Europe is again slightly out of reality and the first tests say that without Full Self Drive (which doesn't work anyway) it's still "just a Tesla". But hey, at least you can brag that you have a carbon spoiler that won't even survive a visit to the car wash.
🍝 Alfa Romeo Milano – christening, fiasco, renaming. All in one week
Alfa Romeo has revealed the compact crossover Milano, which was… wait, it’s not Milano anymore. The Italians had to rename it because “Milano can’t be made outside of Italy.” And since this car is being built in Poland (in Tychy, where Fiat 126p production ended, which is saying something), it’s suddenly called Junior.
A brand that has a snake eating a man in its logo can't even get through to the car naming board. Bravo!
💥 Toyota GR Yaris 2024: Even crazier than before. And with a machine gun instead of a lever!
Toyota has revealed the facelifted GR Yaris and... holy crap, this is an even bigger rally weapon now . A new eight-speed automatic transmission, a digital cockpit like a combat drone, and 280 horsepower under the hood. The manual remains, but anyone who buys the automatic gets a free mild guilty conscience.
Toyota confirms this: the Japanese not only know how to make a hot hatch, but they also act like it's a job. While Europe is abolishing combustion engines and ordering people to ride scooters.
And finally, remember the days when you walked into a car dealership, pointed at a car, said "this" and had it at your home within a week? Yes, it was the turn of the century and no, it's not coming back.
Today you draw cars , rename them , wait a year for them , then another three for the software , and if you're lucky, they work . In the meantime, the manufacturer manages to triple the price of the equipment, send you an OTA update that disables your heating, and even offers a monthly subscription for the turn signals.
Car companies today make promises faster than EP rappers, but in reality they only have crayons in stock for the design studio. And us? We're still standing in line with our wallets in our hands, while the person in the back already has virtual reality glasses, because the car will only be in the cloud anyway.
Long live progress. Especially the one that hits the wall. You'll read us again in a week with news from the motoring world is in flames!🚗💨🔥 To make sure you don't miss anything, subscribe and don't forget to like us on social media...that's in today 🚀
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