The motoring world is on fire: Ferrari invents pill pistons, Tesla invents new excuses, China invents a new Bugatti, and we're all inventing ways to pay for gas.
- Mar 18
- 3 min read
🚗🔥 The motoring world is back in flames! And so are the incredible ideas of car companies whose engineers probably breathe exhaust fumes instead of coffee. Ferrari said that round pistons are boring, Tesla said that brakes are a relic. China built its own Bugatti (from discount plastic) and Volkswagen claims that the electric Golf GTI will be fun. And gasoline? It costs so much that we're starting to think about bicycles.
Ferrari and its pill pistons: When you don't know what to do with the engine, you just repaint it
If you think a circular piston is a logical shape, Ferrari thinks otherwise. That's why it's filed a patent for an engine with pill-shaped pistons . That means instead of the classic cylinders, we're getting something between a paracetamol capsule and something that fell out of engineering hell. It's supposed to improve combustion efficiency and deliver more power, which is good news. The bad news? By the time it gets into production, gasoline will cost more than a single-family home.
Tesla Cybertruck: Something broke again, this time the brake control
Welcome to another round of “what’s breaking on the Cybertruck today.” This time, owners have discovered that the brake control occasionally decides to take a vacation . Some drivers have reported that when you press the pedal,… nothing happens. Which is an interesting approach to braking. Tesla has already blamed it on a “software issue,” which is a fancy way of saying “we have no idea what happened.”
China built its own Bugatti and it's not even trying to hide it
When Bugatti introduced the Chiron, everyone was amazed. A few years later, China said, “Hmm, we could use this,” and literally copied the design, because copyright is only for weaklings. Shandong Qilu Fengde makes a car that looks like the Chiron, but costs about as much as a better bike . Instead of a sixteen-cylinder engine, you have a small electric motor and a maximum speed that is slower than the speed of a sprinting turtle. Let’s hope Richard Chlad resisted the Chinese temptation and no longer has a container on the road...
Volkswagen Golf to get a “sporty” electric motor. Does that mean anything?
VW has announced that it is preparing a new Golf GTI, but with an electric motor . Yes, you read that right, a sports electric car. It's like a "diet beer" - it sounds good, but no one cares about the result. VW promises a "sporty character", but the question is whether this means anything other than the fact that instead of the sound of the engine we get an artificial hum from the speakers. If anyone asks if this will be an exciting car, the answer is: Probably like watching paint dry in the wings of a Loskuták bird!
Gasoline is getting more expensive again, because why not?
If you thought you were going to drive cheaper this year... ha ha, you're wrong! Gas prices are skyrocketing again for a number of reasons. Refineries say higher demand, lower production and possibly Jupiter's alignment with Mars are to blame. Meanwhile, governments keep claiming they're "promoting mobility," which is a great joke if your sense of humor is dark enough.
The car world has clearly gone crazy, but at least we have something to laugh about. Ferrari is inventing engines that are like something from another dimension, Tesla is making cars with the "sometimes I brake, sometimes I don't" feature, China is showing us what top-notch counterfeiting looks like, and gasoline is still costing us a fortune. See you in a week!
🔥 The motoring world is on fire – because otherwise we would go crazy. 🔥
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